The Difficult Questions

I dug this up this morning - it's most of the text of the email I sent to Wienerschnitzel's PR people, trying to get an interview with the VP of Marketing. They had demanded I send a copy of any questions I would be asking, so I did...

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To: adam@XXXX.biz
Cc: info@wienertakesall.com
Subject: Questions for the interview

Hey Adam:

Here are my preliminary questions for the interview. Obviously they are mostly tongue-in-cheek (like the whole film). This might not be all the questions but gives you a gyst of the tone. Please let me know asap if we can finalize a date so I can lock in my crew.

[crap deleted]

I'm having a terrible time getting anyone from Adville [Wienerschnitzel's PR company] returning [sic] my calls. I really don't understand what the problem is. This is a film about Wiener Dog Racing. I don't know what they are afraid of but any help you could give me in getting them to participate would be greatly appreciated.

This film will be great for Wienerschnitzel - it's going to be a family film that will have wide appeal. But if Adville doesn't cooperate it makes it look like Wienerschitzel has something to hide (which is retarded but still kinda funny).

If you have a list of dates/contact people for the events I'd really love a copy so I can schedule my crew. I was also hoping that you might be able to get me a letter from Tom et al giving me permission to film these events - that way I don't have to deal with Adville at all.

Again thanks sooo much for all your help. You're going to be in my credits.

If you need to get in touch with my I can be reached at 858-XXX-XXXX.

Shane

PS - check out www.wienertakesall.com

• Tell me about the history of the Wiener Nationals.
• How critical are the Wiener Nats to the Wienerschnitzel marketing effort?
• What are your favorite memories of the Wiener Nationals?
• Who are some of the more memorable or famous characters you've met?
• Some people really seem to take the Wiener Nats to heart. Have you had any run-ins with these people?
• Some racers complain that others cheat by "launching" their dogs. Have you seen this happen? Is it forbidden under International Wiener Dog Racing Federation rules?
• Are there any formal rules for the wiener nats? How are they developed? Is there a world governing body?
• Is there any gambling on the Wiener Nationals? If so, can you hook me up?
• How are the judges chosen and trained?
• The DCA has come out in opposition to wiener dog races. What's your stance on this? How do you allay their fears of wiener dog racing becoming a for-profit circuit?
• Would you be tempted to go to a track that had nothing but wiener dog racing?
• I understand that the Wiener National events have raised money for humane societies across the country. Do you know how much money has been raised?
• Noodles seems to have had the hardest time of all of the dogs - two years in a row he was robbed (the owner's words) and in 2004 he finally won. Unfortunately this year Orlando at Los Alamitos is not going to let Noodles run and defend his title. Do you think that's fair? Would you like to see Noodlesbe able to defend his title?
• The Noodles and Pretzel rivalry was one of the more legendary wiener dog racing battles. Have there been any other rivalries that you can remember?
• What's the fastest winning time for a Wiener Nats?
• In your opinion, Who was the best champion wiener dog racer - Noodles or Baron?
  

Pretty hard-hitting stuff huh? I can see why any VP Marketing worth his salt would go scurrying to the hills. WHAT IS WIENERSCHNITZEL HIDING???